For days I have been grappling with the fact of Easter. Still waiting for the sun, still waiting for the tiny green shoots to pop their heads through the earth. Springtime has been promised but is slow to appear. And now Easter, a time of rebirth arrived and almost gone.
Yet it wasn’t until I walked the pond path at Walden this afternoon, part dry dirt, part damp dead leaves and part still covered in slush and ice, that I realized what I needed to learn…
Jesi is gone and no birth of Spring or rebirth of Easter will bring her back as my daughter…
Not in this lifetime anyway…
I walked down the ramp to the pond like I have a million times before and a voice inside my head called out to me saying
“Appreciate the natural way of things”
The pond, for months ice and snow today had become a checkerboard of waterways…
The thaw upon us for another year
A year which begins a new phase in my life without Jesi.
I wondered for how many months with the freeze upon us, how stuck I had become
I had never realized how water is a metaphor for life
How in the thaw
What has been frozen inside
And starts to flow again.